I had not yet come to terms with my father's death when I got involved in my father's funeral and took care of my mother. I could handle everything well. At least, that's what I thought. I believed I could digest this grief, but I didn't know that I couldn't install a 6-cylinder car engine into an 8-cylinder car and expect that car to run like before. I did not have the strength to bear all that weight.
I didn't realise that I needed to mourn the loss of my father and be alone for a bit. I needed to slowly get used to the fact that I didn't have him by my side. I thought I could deal with this sadness if I was busy and had little spare time. But I was wrong! This sadness was so great that it slowly burned all my energy and power without me realising it. After a short period, it gradually affected my health and psyche.
After a month of fighting to hide it, I found myself unable to cope. At that time, I found it challenging to return to everyday life. Although my father had been suffering from health problems for several years, and seeing him freed from all suffering, it was not easy for me to accept his departure. I was lost, didn't know how to find myself, and didn't know how to go on without him.
My father was always a symbol of strength, pride and support for me—the one who established security. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that he's no longer suffering, but I still hadn't come to terms with the massive loss in my life, but I had temporarily covered it so I wouldn't see it.
A parent's death means losing one of our most unique loved ones. We all know that death is a right and we all die one day, but that does not lessen the sadness of a parent's death.
We need to know coping with the grief of losing a parent can lead to anxiety and other mental health problems. An important thing to note is that each person reacts differently to the death and loss of loved ones. For many people, losing a parent is a life-changing event that can affect their mental health in the short and long term.
I wanted to share my experiences with you here so that they might help you.
Of course, it was not easy, but it's getting more manageable over time. Everyone says time heals all wounds, but you cannot solve this grief for yourself until you accept that this is a fact of life. Your loved one wants you to bear this, be strong and move on with your life after they are gone.
I know this is what Father wanted me to do.
He was strong and always wanted me to be strong, determined and forgiving.
I knew this would not happen if I did not deal with this great sadness properly.
So the ways I found to cope with my loss, the loss of my hero,
Do not ignore and suppress your feelings; It is normal to get angry and shout. Try to be alone with yourself in those times. Maybe the best place is the cemetery and nature because you can scream and cry as much as you want. I remember after nearly two months; I found myself walking through the cemetery and calling loudly for my dad. I was talking to him and looking around like a mad person, but believe me, and it felt so good after that day.
Give yourself time; There is no exact time to end mourning. How much you mourn after your father's death depends on many things. For example, those who lose their father suddenly need more coping time. However, psychologists believe that after six months to a year, you should gradually be able to return to your daily life. If you are still as sad as the first days after this period, it is better to seek help from a counsellor.
Remember the good days you had together; Looking at old photos, talking about loved ones, and thinking about our memories together help us cope with our loss. So I decided to see all the photos and videos from our trips together. It reminded me of all the good memories, the places we saw together, and the laughter and jokes whenever his children and grandchildren were around; all of this made me feel better. Seeing those photos made me happy and eased my sadness. I realised how lucky I was to have my father by my side until my mid-adulthood.
Accept death as a part of life; Dying is a part of life for all of us. Unfortunately, we will not always face happy things in life. So it is better to find the right solution so that difficult circumstances do not destroy us. Accepting this is one of the most vital things I have learned. Focusing on this challenging situation and accepting this bitter reality will help us deal with this dispossession sooner and in healthier ways, and you can start your life anew sooner. Accept that the path of life continues even after your father's death. In this case, you can adapt to new situations moving forward.
Refer to specialists and family counsellors; To reach a stable situation without annoying mental tensions. Coping with change can be challenging. Sometimes we need someone to help us. If you have problems adapting to new conditions, it is better to seek advice from your family. If you are struggling, don't try to be brave; ask for help from a professional counsellor.