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Low self-esteem easily manipulated

Is that happening to you, the feeling of being controlled by someone or being told what to do or being manipulated by others and working so hard to get others approval?

Why do we let this happen? What went wrong to make me feel so trapped?

I was subjected to manipulation in the past because of my low self-esteem. For years, I have been searching to find a way to put a stop to being controlled and manipulated in an attempt to help myself and other women overcome these horrible situations.

Women with low self-esteem are at a higher risk of being manipulated by their partners than women with high self-esteem. This happens because a woman with low self-esteem does not feel good about herself and experiences more negative feelings such as sadness, depression, anxiety, shame, guilt and anger.

We are not born with low self-esteem rather we are born with high self-esteem and self-love. As a kid we are full of confidence and self-love. We lose our self-esteem gradually over the years by hearing continuously that whatever we do is not right and that we are never good enough or being criticised even we are giving 100%. Then we start to doubt ourselves and find it hard to feel good about ourselves. We compare ourselves with others and begin to self-criticise. People with low self-esteem are even ashamed to do anything in an attempt to avoid making mistakes. They constantly question their abilities and continually worry about how they act and how everyone is thinking about them. They start to form a shield around themselves to avoid anyone getting close to them because they are scared that people will discover their lack of abilities and usefulness. They isolate themselves because they feel safe. Women with low self-esteem are easily manipulate because they are alone and do not believe in themselves.

They can be easily controlled, bullied and abused by their partner because they have no self-respect. So there is a higher chance for them to stay in an abusive relationship because they believe they are not worthy to have a better life. The sad part is that they always blame themselves for their partner's behaviour.

Many women with low self-esteem or lack of self-esteem end up having mental and physical issues later in life, which make them more vulnerable and dependent on their partner's mercy. This happens because the women with low self-esteem start to develop habits as a coping mechanism such as drinking or smoking.

How to better my self-esteem

I have found that focusing on a number of items has benefited my life greatly in lifting my self-esteem and living life to the fullest! Some of these tips are:

1. Loving myself;

2. Believing in myself and my abilities;

3. Stop being a people pleaser.

1. There is nothing wrong with loving yourself

I was constantly thinking about how could I put a stop to being controlled and manipulated?

My brain was going 100 miles an hour to find the answer but the answer was right within me. SELF LOVE!

The way to establish a strong and healthy self-esteem is firstly to love yourself. I am living proof of this fact, my self-esteem massively improved since I started to respect and love myself. Loving yourself may not sound easily especially if you do not see yourself as a loveable person, but it needs some time and practice. You need to start loving yourself minute-by-minute; step-by-step just give yourself some time.

2. Time to start believing in yourself and celebrate

The main key to increase your self-esteem is to believe in yourself and in your ability that you can do anything if you put your mind to it. It is a solid and strong healthy foundation for developing healthy self-esteem. Believe that you can conqueror the world because you have the power and ability to do that. We all are busy all the time putting ourselves under a microscope finding negatives in ourselves, looking at our wrongdoings and our weaknesses.

How about now, to shift this phenomenal energy toward feeling positive about ourselves and looking for what are our strength and our unique power makes us individual. It is time to trust ourselves and our abilities to make a difference and change our life. This can be possible by starting to rejoice in your achievement no matter how small it is.

How long will you wait for a beautiful blossom to become a juicy peach?

What makes you wait that long?

BELIEVE, because you believe in it, you believe that it will happen.


3. Stop being a people pleaser!

Please yourself! This is nothing wrong to gratify yourself. This is your basic right! Engrave this in your mind and remind yourself every day that "I AM GOING TO PLEASE MYSELF BEFORE ANYONE ELSE" You are the most important person in your life so do the thing that makes you happy, only YOU!

How many of us are waiting to get approval from others. We will do everything to get others approval despite how much it damages our pride and self-esteem. This is because we are a people pleaser, not a self-pleaser. Now it is time to open our eyes. Now it is time to wake up, NO ONE NEEDS TO GIVE YOU APPROVAL BUT YOURSELF. Women with Low self-esteem easily be manipulated so why not put an end to it by all of us boosting our self-esteem.

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Colin Burnell
Colin Burnell
Jul 23, 2021

Great article Shab, men also negotiate these same internal mind games and your words are very encouraging!

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